Dowcipy dnia

Po wybuchu jadrowym na uschnietym kikucie ocalalego drzewa siedza dwa szympansy.
- Masz cos do jedzenia ? - pyta samiec.
Samica podaje mu jablko.
- O nie, - protestuje samiec - nie bedziemy tej idiotycznej historii powtarzac od poczatku!


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paraliz stale


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News



ABC News
Afghans Rally in Support of Palestinians
Washington Post - 37 minutes ago
By Pamela Constable KABUL, Jan. 5 -- The modest white Miladul Nabi mosque is almost hidden beneath a massive poster that depicts a red fist raised to the heavens surrounded by slogans expressing sympathy for the Palestinian people, support for what it ...
Video: Notebook: Gaza CBS
Israeli tanks enter South Gaza's largest city Times Online
CNN - Bloomberg - New York Times - Wall Street Journal
all 20,835 news articles



ABC News
New Congress set to convene with economy in focus
Reuters - 1 hour ago
By Thomas Ferraro and Richard Cowan WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The new US Congress convenes on Tuesday under pressure to deal with a worsening economy by passing a stimulus package that Barack Obama could sign into law soon after being sworn in as ...
Video: Obama's Pushes Stimulus Plan CBS
Economists divided over cutting taxes Boston Globe
CNN - Washington Post - Detroit Free Press - San Francisco Chronicle
all 4,321 news articles



ABC News
India accuses Pakistan on Mumbai
BBC News - 1 hour ago
Last November's Mumbai attack must have had support from some official agencies in Pakistan, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has said.
In Sharing Mumbai Findings, India Exhorts Pakistan to Act Washington Post
India PM says Pakistan whipping up war hysteria Reuters
The Associated Press - Aljazeera.net - Bloomberg - Hindu
all 2,522 news articles



guardian.co.uk
Police: Private TV channel in Sri Lanka attacked
International Herald Tribune - 1 hour ago
AP COLOMBO, Sri Lanka: Armed men attacked a private Sri Lankan television station early Tuesday, tossing hand grenades, spraying the building with gunfire and sparking a blaze that caused heavy damage, witnesses and police said.
Private TV station attacked in Sri Lanka: police AFP
Gunmen destroy studios of Sri Lankan broadcaster GulfNews
The Associated Press - United Press International - BBC News - New York Times
all 3,437 news articles



CTV.ca
World's largest US Embassy opens in Iraq
Houston Chronicle - 52 minutes ago
By CHELSEA J. CARTER AP Iraqis wounded by gunfire in a Baghdad square 15 months ago are awaiting with guarded hopes the beginning of court proceedings against five former private Blackwater Worldwide security guards.
Video: Raw Video: US Baghdad Embassy Opens AssociatedPress
US Embassy in Iraq Largest, Most Expensive Ever FOXNews
Christian Science Monitor - CNN - International Herald Tribune - AFP
all 606 news articles



ABC News
Obama's election is changing the politics of race
Los Angeles Times - 33 minutes ago
Many black leaders are rejecting the old tactics of protest and rhetoric of inequality. 'You can't use 50-year-old ideas in a new political era,' one pastor says.
Video: Officials: Burris Won't Be Sworn in With Others AssociatedPress
Roland Burris: Federalism’s Latest Test Case FOXNews
New York Times - Kansas City Star - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel - CNN
all 3,043 news articles



Voice of America
No hiding the disappointment about Richardson
Los Angeles Times - 30 minutes ago
Bill Richardson's decision to pull out of Obama's Cabinet hurts his standing as a Latino leader and the political causes he supports, analysts say.
Video: Richardson Addresses Withdrawing Nomination AssociatedPress
Richardson, Obama Teams Trade Blame Washington Post
CNN International - FOXNews - Wall Street Journal - BusinessWeek
all 2,577 news articles



ABC News
Two Seats Up in the Air as New Senate Convenes
Wall Street Journal - 2 hours ago
By BRAD HAYNES WASHINGTON -- The fate of two would-be senators remained unsettled as Congress prepared to resume business, presenting a quandary for Democratic leaders.
Video: Franken: Senate Victory 'Incredibly Humbling' AssociatedPress
Democrat Is Winner in Recount of Minnesota Senate Race New York Times
Kansas City Star - Reuters - CNN International - Pioneer Press
all 1,686 news articles



The Age
Jobs Health Still Concerns Investors Seeking Apple ‘Smart Guys’
Bloomberg - 1 hour ago
By Connie Guglielmo Jan. 6 (Bloomberg) -- Steve Jobs’s efforts to reassure Apple Inc.’s followers about his health left some investors with more questions than answers.
Apple CEO's health again takes center stage Houston Chronicle
Was Apple 'Adequate but Late' on Jobs? BusinessWeek
Washington Post - CNN International - San Francisco Chronicle - CNNMoney.com
all 1,777 news articles



ABC News
For Car Companies, It Was a Year to Forget
BusinessWeek - 37 minutes ago
A dismal December caps off the auto industry's worst year since 1992. Cars outsold trucks and SUVs for the first time since 2000 By David Kiley and David Welch General Motors (GM) closed out its centennial year having to ask the US taxpayers for loans ...
Video: Chrysler, Toyota, Lead Declines in Auto Sales AssociatedPress
Auto sales plunge again in December CNNMoney.com
Bloomberg - New York Times - DetNews.com - CNN International
all 1,349 news articles



China Daily
Prosecutors say Madoff's gift-giving broke rules
Houston Chronicle - 1 hour ago
By ALEX BERENSON New York Times NEW YORK - Alleging that Bernard Madoff sent at least a million dollars’ worth of jewelry as gifts to family members and friends in December, federal prosecutors asked a magistrate on Monday to revoke his bail and send ...
Madoff Sons Reported Jewelry Violations to US, Lawyer Says Bloomberg
Prosecutors Want Madoff’s Bail Revoked New York Times
Reuters - The Associated Press - guardian.co.uk - New York Daily News
all 665 news articles



The Money Times
Hackers hijack Obama's, Britney's Twitter accounts
Computerworld - 6 hours ago
By Gregg Keizer January 5, 2009 (Computerworld) Hackers hijacked the Twitter accounts of more than 30 celebrities and organizations, including President-Elect Barack Obama, Britney Spears and Fox News, early on Monday, the company confirmed today.
Twitter Hack: How It Happened and What's Being Done PC World
Twitter blames celebrity hack on 'individual' CNET News
Register - United Press International - eWeek - CNN
all 154 news articles



Boston Globe
Motorola Offers Limited Line-Up At Electronics Trade Show
CNNMoney.com - 1 hour ago
NEW YORK -(Dow Jones)- Motorola Inc. (MOT) unveiled a slim line-up of handsets at the Consumer Electronics Show on Tuesday as the company continues to struggle in finding its footing.
Video: Loaded: Happy New Year! CBS
HDTV and Mobile Gear to Steal CES 2009 Spotlight PC World
Reuters - PC Magazine - MSNBC - The Associated Press
all 557 news articles



TechRadar UK
Microsoft sold 28 million Xbox 360s by end of 2008
Reuters - 4 hours ago
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Microsoft Corp sold 28 million units worldwide of its Xbox 360 video game console through the end of 2008, expanding the Xbox's lead over rival Sony Corp's PlayStation 3 console in worldwide unit sales, the company said on ...
Halo 3 tops XBL activity in 2008 GameSpot
Microsoft: Xbox 360 widens lead over PlayStation 3 Los Angeles Times
Planet Xbox 360 - VentureBeat - CNET News - Neoseeker
all 143 news articles



WELT ONLINE
The tragic last minutes for Jett Travolta
Boston Herald - 1 hour ago
By Herald Wire Services FREEPORT, Bahamas - An ambulance driver described a dramatic, tragic scene as rescue workers fought to save 16-year-old Jett Travolta, “Inside Edition” reported yesterday.
People: Death of John Travolta son's is blamed on seizure San Jose Mercury News
Autopsy performed in Bahamas on Travolta's son Washington Post
Boston Globe - TV Guide - The Associated Press - E! Online
all 5,230 news articles



ABC News
TV Converter Program Runs Out of Funding
Washington Post - 37 minutes ago
Consumers with analog televisions who tune in using antennas will need a digital converter box, left, once television stations stop broadcasting in analog Feb. 17.
TV converter coupon program's out of cash; wait list started USA Today
103000 on digital converter waiting list San Francisco Chronicle
Wall Street Journal - Pioneer Press - KUTV - Variety
all 619 news articles



New York Times
`Dark Knight' vies for Producers Guild best pic
The Associated Press - 1 hour ago
LOS ANGELES (AP) - The Batman blockbuster "The Dark Knight," slighted in earlier Hollywood honors, was among best-picture nominees Monday for the Producers Guild of America Awards.
Producers Guild nominations announced Entertainment Weekly
Producers Guild of America nominations = Oscars' front-runners Los Angeles Times
Reuters - Hollywood Reporter - New York Times - Variety
all 285 news articles


Fiesta Bowl winner Texas joins teams with No. 1 dreams
Kansas City Star - 38 minutes ago
By BLAIR KERKHOFF Texas receiver Quan Cosby celebrated after the first of his two touchdowns in Monday’s Fiesta Bowl. The why-not-us-as-national-champs festival.
Justice: Longhorns show determination in win Houston Chronicle
Fantastic (and frustrating) finish: McCoy deflates Buckeyes ... The Plain Dealer - cleveland.com
The Associated Press - Dallas Morning News - Fort Worth Star Telegram - CBSSports.com
all 1,742 news articles



FOXSports.com
For Sooners, dubious starts with 'D'
USA Today - 36 minutes ago
By Steve Wieberg, USA TODAY MIAMI - Nic Harris got his first good look at Florida's spread-option offense in early December, when the senior safety and his Oklahoma teammates - hours from playing for the Big 12 title that night - caught part of the ...
Florida player disses Big 12 defenses Kansas City Star
Meyer, Stoops Took Long Road To Fast Track Tampa Tribune
Central Florida News 13| - NewsOK.com - Florida Times-Union - SportingNews.com
all 631 news articles



Canada.com
Rays close to landing Burrell
MLB.com - 11 hours ago
By Bill Chastain / MLB.com ST. PETERSBURG -- Pat Burrell appears to be close to becoming the power bat the Rays have been looking to land.
Tampa Bay Rays adds a bat in Pat Burrell Boston Herald
Burrell, Rays Agree; Twins Owner Dies Washington Post
Tampa Tribune - Bradenton Herald - Myrtle Beach Sun News - Tampabay.com
all 431 news articles


Healthcare spending in US slows
Los Angeles Times - 30 minutes ago
Though the nation continues to pay more for medical care, the growth rate is at its lowest in 10 years, a federal report says. By Noam N. Levey Reporting from Washington -- Healthcare spending in the US, already the highest in the industrialized world, ...
US health spending hits $2.2 trillion in 2007 Reuters
Health-Care Outlays Climb at Slowest Rate in Years Wall Street Journal
New York Times - Forbes - The Associated Press - USA Today
all 192 news articles



Newsweek
A Note to the Wise on MySpace Helps
New York Times - 59 minutes ago
By ERIC NAGOURNEY Teenagers often use social networking sites like MySpace to post intimate personal information they come to regret, as it lets future employers (or online predators) learn about sex activity and substance abuse.
Teens Divulge Risky Behavior on Social Networking Sites Washington Post
Study: Teens on MySpace mention sex, violence CNN
Newsweek - Bizjournals.com - USA Today - The Associated Press
all 189 news articles



BBC News
CFS Linked to Childhood Trauma
WebMD - 6 hours ago
By Salynn Boyles Jan. 5, 2009 -- Experiencing serious trauma during childhood may increase a person's risk for developing chronic fatigue syndrome later in life, a new study suggests.
Chronic fatigue, early trauma linked USA Today
Stress hormone 'a marker for ME' BBC News
Bloomberg - Ivanhoe - AFP - About - News & Issues
all 25 news articles



Boston Globe
Panetta Chosen As CIA Director
Washington Post - 1 hour ago
President-elect Barack Obama is filling two key intelligence positions - Leon Panetta as CIA Director and Dennis Blair as director of national intelligence.
Video: Schieffer On Obama Cabinet CBS
2 Obama intel nominees signal new direction Houston Chronicle
Boston Globe - New York Times - Kansas City Star - Reuters
all 1,235 news articles



Gay Socialites
Proposition 8 backers attack Brown's efforts to keep gay marriage
Los Angeles Times - 6 hours ago
Proponents of a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage filed legal briefs today urging the California Supreme Court to reject the novel legal argument put forth last month by state Atty.
Prop. 8 backers blast Calif. Attorney General The Associated Press
California gay marriage battle turns to court role Reuters
San Francisco Chronicle - San Jose Mercury News - Gilroy Dispatch - Gay.com
all 151 news articles



The Associated Press
Houston's interest lies with Straus
Houston Chronicle - 51 minutes ago
Our governor may still be from Paint Creek. But our next House speaker will almost certainly be a city boy from San Antonio. For only the second time in 70 years, lawmakers in our famously countrified state appear poised to back a city-slicker to ...
Straus' Texas House speaker rivals withdraw bids Fort Worth Star Telegram
Straus: a partisan with bipartisan appeal Austin American-Statesman
Times Record News - Corpus Christi Caller Times - Dallas Morning News - Abilene Reporter-News
all 640 news articles

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