Dowcipy dnia
mala sie piesci (gabaryt.)
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Wlasciciel sex-shopu musial wyjsc na chwile, wiec za lada zostawil mlodego sprzedawce. Po chwili wchodzi dziewczyna i pyta:
- Ile kosztuje ten bialy gumowy fiutek? Sprzedawca mowi:
- 35$ za bialego, 35$ za czarnego.
- Hmm... poprosze czarnego, jeszcze nigdy nie mialam czarnego - mowi dziewczyna, placi i wychodzi. Po pewnym czasie wchodzi Murzynka i pyta:
- Ile kosztuje ten czarny fiutek?
- 35$ za czarnego, 35$ za bialego - mowi sprzedawca.
- Hmm... poprosze bialego, jeszcze nigdy nie mialam bialego - mowi Murzynka, placi i wychodzi. Po chwili wchodzi blondynka i mowi:
- Po ile sa u pana gumowe fiutki?
- 35$ za bialego lub czarnego - mowi sprzedawca.
- Hmm... a ten w paski stojacy za lada? - pyta blondynka.
- Ten?... no... to jest bardzo specjalny model, kosztujacy 180$ - odpowiada sprzedawca.
- Poprosze! - mowi zdecydowanym glosem blondynka, placi i wychodzi. Po chwili do sklepu powraca wlasciciel i pyta:
- No i jak panu poszlo?
- Wysmienicie! - odpowiada sprzedawca - sprzedalem jednego czarnego, jednego bialego i sprzedalem panski termos za 180$!!!
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News
 WELT ONLINE |
International Herald Tribune -
By Taghreed El-Khodary and Isabel Kershner ALONG THE ISRAEL-GAZA BORDER: Israeli troops commandeered high-rise buildings in three eastern districts of Gaza City on Monday, expelling residents and shooting militants in the streets in its furious effort ...
Video: Notebook: Gaza
At Rafah crossing, a stream of injured Palestinians and an Arab ...
 Times Online |
New York Times -
By JEFF ZELENY and DAVID M. HERSZENHORN WASHINGTON - Two weeks before assuming power, President-elect Barack Obama took his economic recovery package to Capitol Hill on Monday and worked to build a bipartisan coalition to endorse his plan of tax cuts ...
Video: Obama: Economy 'bad and Getting Worse'
Obama seeks swift passage of US fiscal package
 Voice of America |
FOXNews -
AP Jan. 5: US Deputy Secretary of State John Negroponte, right, and Iraqi President Jalal Talabani look on during a ceremony marking the opening of the new US Embassy in Baghdad.
Video: Raw Video: US Baghdad Embassy Opens
New Baghdad Embassy Officially Opens
 ABC News |
guardian.co.uk -
India handed a dossier to Islamabad yesterday giving evidence of alleged Pakistani links to the gunmen who led the bloody rampage through Mumbai in November, asking for those responsible to be extradited to face "Indian justice".
India turns over Mumbai info to Pakistan
Mumbai ‘evidence’ now with Pakistan: India
 BBCSerbian.com |
Christian Science Monitor -
By Nicole Itano | Correspondent of The Christian Science Monitor ATHENS - The shooting of a Greek policeman Monday escalates a simmering conflict between police and leftist groups - and raises new concern over a resurgence of the militant left in a ...
Greek riot policeman shot; extremist group suspected
Gunmen wound police officer in Athens
 Boston Globe |
Reuters -
By Martha Graybow NEW YORK (Reuters) - Even in a city accustomed to notorious figures in its midst, the latest sighting of Bernard Madoff caused heads to turn.
Congress Demands SEC Speed Madoff Inquiry to Improve Oversight
Feds: Jail Madoff without bail
 Sydney Morning Herald |
New York Times -
Following is Al Franken's statement on the Minnesota state Canvassing Board's decision to certify Senate recount. The latest on the presidential transition and other political news from Washington and around the nation.
Franken declares Senate race win after state ruling
Franken Declared Winner in Minnesota Senate Race
 FOXNews |
New York Times -
Roland W. Burris talked to reporters at news conference at Midway Airport in Chicago on Monday before leaving for Washington. By KAREN ANN CULLOTTA and MONICA DAVEY CHICAGO - Even as Senate leaders continued to challenge his appointment to the seat ...
Video: Burris Says Senate Appointment Is Legal
Burris: 'I am the legally-appointed senator'
 Reuters |
BusinessWeek -
A dismal December caps off the auto industry's worst year since 1992. Cars outsold trucks and SUVs for the first time since 2000 By David Kiley and David Welch General Motors (GM) closed out its centennial year having to ask the US taxpayers for loans ...
Car sales plunge heralding bleak 2009
Toyota, Honda US Slump Ends Annual Growth Dating to Mid-1990s
 BBC News |
BBC News -
By Maggie Shiels The health of Apple boss Steve Jobs was a hot topic of conversation on the opening day of Macworld, the annual tech gathering of the Mac faithful.
INSTANT VIEW - Apple CEO begins treatment for hormone imbalance
Surgery May Have Spurred Steve Jobs’s Weight Loss
 GulfNews |
New York Times -
By CLIFFORD KRAUSS HOUSTON - The five-month slide in gasoline prices has come to an abrupt halt, with gasoline rising by several cents in recent days amid indicators that the national average could jump to $2 a gallon or higher this spring.
NYMEX-Crude oil steady below $49 after gains on Gaza
Oil Curve Steeper Than '99 Shows Possible Gain in '09
 ITProPortal |
Computerworld -
By Gregg Keizer January 5, 2009 (Computerworld) Hackers hijacked the Twitter accounts of more than 30 celebrities and organizations, including President-Elect Barack Obama, Britney Spears and Fox News, early on Monday, the company confirmed today.
Twitter blames celebrity hack on 'individual'
Twitter Hack: How It Happened and What's Being Done
 Product Reviews |
CNET News -
Though the retail economy suffered what appears to be one of the bleakest holiday seasons in recent memory, it looks as though the video games industry bucked that disastrous trend.
Xbox 360 sales top 8 million in Europe
Xbox 360 Achieves Record Christmas Sales in Europe
 New Zealand Herald |
Financial Times -
By Kathrin Hille in Beijing China’s government has accused the country’s leading internet search engines and web portals, including Google, of threatening public morals by carrying pornographic and vulgar content.
China targets Internet sites
China Goes After Baidu, Google in Web Porn Crackdown
 The Age |
Washington Post -
By John Marquis NASSAU (Reuters) - Two pathologists appointed by Bahamian authorities performed an autopsy on Monday on the body of actor John Travolta's 16-year-old son, Jett, who died last week after suffering a seizure at the family's holiday home.
Autopsy of John Travolta's son, Jett, performed in front of family ...
Jett Travolta's Death Caused by 'Seizure Disorder'
 Washington Post |
Entertainment Weekly -
The Producers Guild listed The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, Frost/Nixon, Milk, and Slumdog Millionaire as their five nominees today, further sharpening this year's Oscar race.
Producers Guild of America nominations = Oscars' front-runners
Hollywood producers unveil best film nominees
 San Francisco Chronicle |
FOXNews -
AP “Ugly Betty” star Rebecca Romijn gave birth to twin girls, Howard Stern announced on his radio show Monday morning. The newborn girls are the first children for Romijn, 36, and her husband Jerry O’Connell, 34.
Romijn and O'Connell Welcome Twin Girls
Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell have twin girls
 The Associated Press |
The Associated Press -
CHICAGO (AP) - The Chicago Cubs and free agent Milton Bradley reached a preliminary agreement Monday on a $30 million, three-year contract, according to a person familiar with the negotiations.
Bradley to travel to Chicago
Hendry rolls dice with talented, troubled Bradley
 New York Times |
Dallas Morning News -
By CHUCK CARLTON / The Dallas Morning News When Ohio State runs: Starting left guard Jim Cordle is just back from a late-season knee injury, meaning Ben Person will get the start in the mountainous offensive line.
The Pryor Dividend
Texas takes on Ohio State in Fiesta Bowl
 Canada.com |
MLB.com -
By Bill Chastain / MLB.com ST. PETERSBURG -- Pat Burrell appears to be close to becoming the power bat the Rays have been looking to land.
Rays sign Burrell to two-year deal
Pat Burrell agrees to terms with Rays
 Newsweek |
Washington Post -
By Serena Gordon MONDAY, Jan. 5 (HealthDay News) -- More than half of teens who use the social networking site MySpace have posted information about sexual behavior, substance abuse or violence, new research shows.
Kids reveal a lot about themselves online
Study: Teens on MySpace mention sex, violence
 SmartAboutHealth |
CNNMoney.com -
Last year: The cost of providing health insurance to employees continued to skyrocket, jumping by an average of 5.7% per employee after a 6.1% hike in 2007, according to a study by consulting firm Mercer.
Can The Media Derail Health Care Reform?
Obama's Plan for American Healthcare
 Health Newstrack |
U.S. News & World Report -
By Amanda Gardner MONDAY, Jan. 5 (HealthDay News) -- Obese postmenopausal women who have never used hormone replacement therapy may face an increased risk of ovarian cancer, compared to normal-weight women, a new study suggests.
Study: Obesity Increases Ovarian Cancer Risk
Study: Obesity linked to ovarian cancer
 New Zealand Herald |
New York Times -
As he prepares to take office, President-elect Barack Obama is relying on a small team of advisers who will lead his transition operation and help choose the members of his administration.
Video: Obama Fills Key Intelligence Positions
Panetta, Blair Tapped for Top Intelligence Positions
 guardian.co.uk |
FOXNews -
New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson insists he will be cleared of wrongdoing in a federal investigation, after withdrawing his nomination for commerce secretary in Barack Obama's administration.
Video: Richardson Addresses Withdrawing Nomination
NM gov. backed down over pay-to-play probe
 Javno.hr |
Reuters -
SAN FRANCISCO, Jan 5 (Reuters) - Former eBay Inc Chief Executive Meg Whitman has resigned from three corporate boards for personal reasons, a turn-of-the-year move that would free her to run for governor of California.
AP source: Ex-eBay CEO to run for Calif. governor
Meg Whitman Leaves EBay, P&G, DreamWorks Boards
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